Disclaimer : Those who “breathe Bollywood”, don’t read this.
Below are the 8 wonders ( read : blunders ) of Bollywood :
- Fake reviews : They don’t give a rat’s ass about critical appreciation, but only focus on box office collections. Sure, one could say that the director did his best, but what if they fool you through fake reviews :
The reviews of “Sanam Re”, have usernames of Bollywood personalities + “do”. Woah, it’s sooo clever, I couldn’t even notice. Way to go, T-Series! You have an excellent PR team
2. Plagiarism :
“If you hide the source, you're a genius. There's no such thing as originality in the creative sphere.” - Mahesh Bhatt
We get it, you look for inspiration. Everyone does. But why follow a half-baked advice? At least, try adding some originality to make it look like you’ve put in some effort.
3. For the love of Bhai : This one’s my personal favourite. Take a good look at the image below :
Noticed it? The boy is looking under the girls’ skirts using the mirror. He’s the younger version of Salman Khan’s character in London Dreams. Meanwhile, every roadside romeo gets a new hope, “Bhai ne kiya hai, hum kaise na kare?” ( If Salman Khan did it, we’ll do it too). Salman Khan can do anything and get away with it.
Sure, one could say that this one’s the fans’ fault and not the actor’s. But Salman Khan can at least speak against this instead of keeping mum.
4. Singers acting and actors singing : This trend started a decade back with Himesh Reshammiya’s debut in Aap ka Suroor - The Movie, and has continued ever since. Over time, more celebrities gained confidence in abilities they don’t have :)
Caption : Left - Himesh Reshammiya holding a gun to his head after watching “Tera Suroor”, Right - Salman Khan in agony after listening to his own song.
5. Unmerited judges : I don’t really get why an actor has to be everywhere. Why can’t he just be an actor ? So here we have Sonakshi Sinha judging Indian Idol, and Chetan Bhagat judging Nach Baliye :
TV channels choose them using reverse psychology here. “Man…the audience will really look forward to seeing, what a person with zero knowledge in the subject will have to say about it. They’ll wait for Chetan’s clash with other judges. Hit show guaranteed!”.
6. Nepotism : Bollywood will cease to exist without nepotism. The Kapoors and the Khans will continue to rule through their next generation.
These three shouted “Nepotism rocks” in front of the entire audience. Then they apologize on Twitter saying, “intention was not to hurt anyone.” Only if an apology could fix everything, the world would’ve been a peaceful place.
7. Stalking : I was really excited when I heard about “Toilet : Ek Prem Katha” . “Another movie on an extremely important social topic by Akshay Kumar, yay!”, I thought. The below scene is in the first video song of the movie :
Caption : Akshay Kumar’s character stalking his female interest. (No, not funny this time )
WTF! Why can’t they just make a normal movie, devoid of stalking and other immoral acts?
8. The way they portray gay characters : When I first watched Dostana back in 2008, I laughed at this scene :
It’s 2017 and now that I have some common sense, it isn’t funny anymore. Why do they have to show gay characters so weird ? Why can’t they show them the way they are, i.e, Normal ?